Sunday, June 22, 2014

Bad Ideas: Street Speeders

Street Speeders

So I live next to a fairly busy street. Often people will be hitting full throttle right as they pass, as there is a light just a block up, the street is fairly wide, and market 30 MPH which means closer to 45.

It's kind of annoying, just enough to remind me a few times a day as someone tears ass through my neighborhood. Double pane windows helped a lot, but doesn't counteract the 80 cubic inches of displacement in the Harley-Davidson as it accelerates 300lbs of grisly biker dude, leather, and metal studs.

For a while I've been pondering different possibilities to combat this. It had to be legal and safe, after all this is where I live. This simple set of criteria has filtered out most of my ideas.

Bad Idea #3: "Big Brother is watching"

Down the street a bit is one of those radar displays that tells you how fast you are going, and blinks if it thinks you are going too fast. These appear to be fairly ineffective - everyone knows these don't issue tickets.

What about a large screen shaming the drivers as they go past? Surely having a photo of you speed by talking/texting on a cell phone combined information from public records displayed on a billboard would get your attention.

Maybe too much attention. The last thing my neighborhood needs is a more distracted driver, or a riot of privacy advocates.

Bad Idea #2: "You are driving in a residential area"

Taking the helpful signs to the next level.

If a helpful reminder that they are driving through a residential area is a good thing, then how bad could it be to remind drivers that at any moment a cat, dog, or kid could dart into the road? What better reminder than a simulated reproduction of the experience? Imagine a stuffed animal racing toward the street to intersect with speeders, stopping safely just past curbside parking.

I can only imagine how many collisions this would cause as speeders swerve and overcorrect to avoid the faux-inevitable collision.

Bad Idea #1: "Welcome to the car wash"

Even if it would be really cool to have a speed activated sprinkler that would give speeders a wake up call, I can't imaging this working out well in the long term. 

Firstly, it's not really safe. A splash of water is probably a little too startling, and could temporarily impair visibility.

Second, I have to consider that it might also hit the grisly biker dude.

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